This is the backstory for my manga that I've been working on for some time now, basically all I want is honest and helpful critique, I know my story telling sucks but I'm not worried about that. Is the story too generic? If so how can I steer it away from that? Do I need t explain things some more? If so tell me what. Anything like that will be a big help! I need to know because this will be the driving force behind my manga, any help is welcome and I know this may be asking too much but if you're an experianced story writer maybe you could...help me over MSN or something? xD *flees* I need the help peoples! P.S This is all I've got so far there's just a tiny bit more to be added, I will update it as I write it and also character descriptions are left out because this of course will all be drawn xD So ya...

Demons and angels, two warring superpowers that are forever in an eternal struggle to gain dominance over each other. The leader of the demon clans, Asmodeous and the leader of the angel clans, Rysaka considered being the most powerful of each of their race are actually brothers, brothers that do not see eye to eye. Many wars have resulted and the world of man has always been caught in the middle, struggling to not get involved in these supernatural affairs. One man however wanted demonic powers for his own evil doings, before demons and angels freely walked the human plains, when technology was terrifyingly advanced, the man’s name was Olius, and for over 5 years he studied the demon texts and forbidden archives gaining all the knowledge he could on how to enter the demon realm. After finally working out the secret he also found out that your soul must be offered as a sacrifice to gain access. Olius, unfazed used mans incredible technology to transform himself into a homunculus and containing his soul in a black gemstone which he could then offer as a sacrifice. Olius managed to open the demon realm portal and confronted Asmodeous offering, that for demonic powers he will open the demonic gate again and set them free. Asmodeous agrees and gives Olius some of his powers, but unbeknown to Asmodeous the transfer in power created a link between the two entities Olius then opens the portal and the demons spill out onto the human plain raging havoc. This was the beginning of a war that is recorded by man as the most cataclysmic war of all history, this war was named the Shiro war, many lives were claimed and man had no choice but to fight back when the demons attacked a large city, the demons were too overwhelming and man was starting to lose their ground, the angels came to their aid and the battle levelled out, Olius was in charge of his own corporate minions and a few demon underlings and started his own assault against the angels, Asmodeous also took up his sword and started to drive back the angels, Rysaka was too distracted defending a large group of humans and Asmodeous was massacring the angels and humans. The battle it seemed was decided until an unlikely hero stood forth, a demon, one with a kind and compassionate soul, this demons name was Saryan, he had fell in love with a woman called Sara, on the human plain, and was fighting to defend her. Saryan faced the demon clan leader and they fought on equal grounds, during the course of the battle an angel speaks to Saryan in his mind telling him that if he can keep Asmodeous distracted long enough she can seal him in The Rift, a place where souls that are created or departed travel to and from the human plain to the realm of souls, Saryan agreed and carried on the battle while the angel secretly prepared her incantation however Saryan was distracted when he found out that the demon clan leader had Sara as a hostage and Asmodeous managed to wound Saryan badly. With Saryan wounded Asmodeous began to gain the upper hand and before he struck the final blow Sara took the hit and died in Saryans arms, Saryan went into a wild frenzy and crippled Asmodeous. The angel saw this as a good advantage and unleashed her binding spell on Asmodeous but a demon that was watching her carefully, attacked and interrupted her when she unleashed it, sending it off course sealing both Saryan and Asmodeous inside the rift. Since The Rift is a spiritual plain the link between Asmodeous and Olius weakened, but also meant that Asmodeous couldn’t be taken to The Departed. Olius became very weak and became almost powerless again, sensing that his plan had failed he decided to wait for his masters return and used his last remaining energy to sear the world in fire and seal himself inside the black gemstone that had once contained his soul. It was complete chaos, killing just under a quarter of the planets population and destroying most of mans civilisation, the planet became desolate, dry and barren with remains of mans great cities looming over the survivors, most of the planets oceans evaporated and what was left of it sank into the dry earth, soaking it up like a sponge. Humanity had to salvage what was left and first sought water that had sunk into the earth; they used the scraps of their technology to construct machines to bore giant holes in the earth releasing the water back on the land and then creating the towns straight on top of the water using a system of floats and supports.

interesting storyline. I love the fact that the humans just live on normally while the battle between the angels and demons is going on before the Shiro happened; you could really play that up in the manga. And Olius just seems like a crackpot bent on power, so you could play that up too and make him comically/terrifyingly psychotic. The only thing I don't like is how similar the names Saryan and Sara are. I'd condsider renaming one or the other or both, lol. Other than that though, very interesting.